DAY NINE - BILLY JACK WAS HERE

We started the day pretty early with a breakfast in the Kure Restaurant. Dave didn't want to bore us out of our skulls, so he took us on a cruising tour of the neighboring islands. To the north of the base stands the shipyard which produced many of the Japanese ships that attacked Pearl Harbor. Also, the Yamoto was built here. This was by far the most advanced battleship of its day, but was sunk during the battle of Okinawa in 1945. Go figure.


The Yamoto museum was closed today, so Dave vowed to take us back tomorrow. The views were spectacular in this rural area of Japan. Many of the houses are the old-fashioned wood structures you've seen in pictures and Big Bird goes to Japan. Things are slow going in the area, and the vibe is mostly industrial. Cherry blossoms abound here, and those of us with allergies were well aware.



We end our cruise in YOU ME town, much like a Walmart but by far classier. We refreshed ourselves with some more Chu Hi and sake, green tea and vitamin water. Spent some time on the benches outside with some elderly Japanese, who found it amusing that we were sampling the local flavors at 11am.

LSP sound loaded in at 1:30 and we sound checked around 4. Our best P.A. yet, as it is almost all homemade and the Father/Son/Mother sound team knows what's up. The video library at the base is pretty full and we rented BILLY JACK. Yes, it's a movie and no, we didn't know it at the time the song came about! So...Billy Jack was here. And we watched him. The sequel, the Trial of Billy Jack is equally as epic and we hit that too.


The show tonight was largely made up of the Japanese locals, most older folks but some younger. Again, what a great bunch! This one older cat caught all the solos and would whoop and clap after every one. Some took to the dance floor and showed the Americans what real rhythm was. SURREAL MOMENT - Elderly man rocking out to Redwings. SURREALER MOMENT - The blend-into-the-floor monitors claimed another victim and dropped him on my pedal board. I tried the old help-him-up-sing&play, but found it doesn't work as well in reality as it does in thought.

Got the F&H music out there, and notched another one up. Hung out with another Matt, who's fluency in Japanese is rivaled only by his ability to out last me two nights in a row. I had a go in the sauna close to mid-night, but realized it's not as fun by yourself. Like a lot of things: Egyptian Ratscrew, baseball, & chess to name a few. Many of the things I was forced to do as a kid because my siblings enjoyed torturing my mother's middle child.

DAY EIGHT - SQUID SNACKS & CHU HI

Another travel day today. We drove past and through some of the areas we’ve hit in the previous days and things are actually starting to look familiar to us. Japan Airlines is a first-rate airline and there was virtually no issue with all of our baggage like back in BWI.

The only snag we ran into was on their end. Our MCO’s are good for every flight on the trip, but for some reason they only saw our Singapore Airlines MCO and processed that. (Miscellaneous Charge Orders – They pay for the cost of the extra baggage, and have been supplied by AFE) Only after Spike cleared the situation with the desk were we able to pass through security. WE DIDN’T HAVE TO TAKE OFF OUR SHOES! I didn’t have a sweet little old lady wearing too much perfume to mask mine this time, so I’m very grateful for this. I snagged a couple of Rice balls and beers and boarded the plane.

The flight took only an hour and a half, but it was one of my favorites ever. For one it was not packed, and we could move around. Two, we passed Mount Fuji from the air, and the plane nearly tipped over from all of us rushing to the left hand side of the plane to take a look. Third, the landing was probably the most bizarre I’ve ever experienced. Hiroshima airport is a small airport sitting on top of a mountain, and it has what looks like a metal truss bar extending a few thousand feet off of the one side. We assume this is for lights. A steep bank turn and a nice forceful slam on the tarmac signaled our arrival in Hiroshima. The concourse was equally as small, and it took no time at all to get baggage and make the hour and a half bus ride to the Kure Army Depot.

This place is the smallest yet, but it has a gym that rivals any I’ve seen state-side. A sauna and a bar all inhabit the same building. It will be impossible to get lost, but I’m sure one of us will. Our POC is a friendly Dave Ricks, and he’s been managing the facility for about 6 years. The tour of the base took only the time to prepare the dinner we ordered, and we ate like we hadn’t eaten in weeks. A couple of beers at the bar (which was footsteps away) ended the evening. Watched some Old School with some Chu-Hi’s and J&C’s Kent and I gathered at the 7-11 off base. I got some squid snacks for the guys, hoping one of them would be brave enough to eat ‘em.

DAY SEVEN - TOKYO - AND FINALLY SOME JAPANESE FOOD!

AH...The blessed day off. We had so many recommendations to follow up on and only one day to do it. We caught the train outside of Gate 4 at the station Soubudai Mae. Our first thought was to go to the Times Square version of Tokyo in Shibuya. Our first run in with the train system was confusing but we were not without help for long, as some of the locals were more than eager to point us to the Shibuya district. Koza-Shibuya is where we ended up. It was a little suburb that shared the name with the big district. But again, we were helped by a local and quickly realized where we had gone wrong.

I had a novelty/public Asahi beer on our way back to the station, and we quickly got back on track.
Our good friend Chris Quinn filmed a scene of his music video to "Love Song" which you can find HERE at Shibuya crossing. About 1000 people cross at every light. He recommended we go to Starbucks and people watch. That's where this picture comes from.

I kept my eyes sharp for Japlish, the often comical mis-translation of Japanese to American phrases. I found many. The fashion here is razor sharp, and has some hilarious prints. It's a shame the T-shirts were $40-50 each. We weren't going to pay that amount of money for silly shirts.

We were getting pretty hungry by this point and found a restaurant on the top floor of a business complex. In many shops, we have to go up or down and all around to get to them. (they build things UP around here. Only %20 percent of the land in Japan is suitable for developing.) We dove in to some Sashimi and Sake which was unlike any we had ever tasted before. Not so much the fish, as the crazy ingredients they gave us to combine it with. The Wasabi kills, and they don't give you much of it for good reason.

With our bellys full, Akihabara, the electronics district was our next spot. If it beeps, computes, or plugs in, they sell it here! We even came across a store that sold only Extractor fans. It was that diverse. One such store caught our eye called Discount Amusements. We love a good bargain and are easy to amuse, so no brainer here. The first two floors were dedicated to Pachinko machines (disguised gambling...it's illegal here and centers around pin balls), with the next two containing various video games and slot machines. Above them were the fashion levels, where I almost bought some really off-color T-shirts, but then decided I would never wear them in public. Appliances were above these floors, then more video games, and finally some very strange school-girl show. It was in effect like a Miley Cyrus thing, but with a group of Japanese girls dressed in school girl/maid outfits. Steve and I took a picture with some of them outside of the venue. After that, it was many escalator rides down to street level again and on our way we went.

Finished up in Roppongi, the night-life district. The sun had set by now and the neon lights were in full flood. We saw a club called the Motown Bar and thought this was perfect for us. However one expensive cocktail later we were out of there and moving on to Bar Matrix, down a side street. 500 Yen happy hour was all it took to get us in there. Both bars having seen us as its only customers, we moved on again, but were stopped by the owner of the Matrix who attempted to hustle us down an elevator to a gentleman's club. We were hungry for something else if you know what I mean and passed him off, but got a sweet tip for a nice Sushi Place.

We had our second round of fish and wasabi and practiced our Japanese to great effect. They could actually understand what we were communicating. Go US! Passed a McDonald's on our way back to base and I had to get the Mc-Hot Dog. Yes...they have that. Why not here!!!? It was pretty bangin," and very cheap.


So no souvenirs I'm afraid! We did try VERY hard. But, nobody wants a wireless mouse that plays 36 different national anthems do they? We fly out tomorrow for Hiroshima, and will continue the story there. This is Matt saying good night. Good night.

DAY SIX - PAPER TRAILS & CHERRY BLOSSOMS

Matt – Because our schedule is so tightly packed and we’re on a new base every day, I’m prone to panic when I wake up in the morning. “Were we being picked up at 8, or 10, or 12!?” I can never remember. Early on in the tour (keep in mind each day feels like a month) Kent learned that waking Tim and I up right before we’re supposed to leave produces comical results. We bolt out of bed, pace around the room and have no clue of where we are. He thinks this is hysterical and this morning called my room to tell me we were 35 minutes late. He and Andrew ran to ring the doorbell (yes! A doorbell) and by that time I knew what was up. Oh pranks. Maybe I’ll put a fish eye in his pack of gum…Or miss the closet next time and tag his luggage. But we’ll all suffer for that. His odors are unique as they are. Why spoil a good thing?

The big Cherry Blossom Festival TODAY! Slight delay this morning in getting out of Yakota. We had a misplaced paper, and they're rather strict about things like that! Especially in today's world. Bussed into Camp Zuma where we set up to play for the Japanese public. The base opens the gates to the community and it's always packed! Had a quick radio interview and spoke of our friendly rivalry with the Cheaters who had been there a week ago. Did we mention they're liars too!? In case you run into one, IT never happened. Yes, that IT.

I must have some Japanese in me somewhere, because I can really relate to these folks. Always so kind and thankful (what I must think of myself!), and very appreciative of the music. We had some difficulties with the sound today, but Andrew steered the good ship Fools & Horses to a rousing Coda.

CDs flew out of our hands to the kids on base and the folks from the town. One enterprising fella had our promo pictures printed out for us to sign! Some of them actually did some homework before coming to the show. Super cool.

We were supposed to eat dinner with the AFE crew again as we did in Yokosaka, but they couldn't make it. Instead, we dined in the Garden Room with a lovely spread of NY Strip, Potatoes and Green Beans, with a delicious strawberry sorbet. AND we got extra plates to go! They treat us like Kings here. We certainly appreciate it.

Early night tonight, thankfully. We're trying hard to hang out with everyone we meet, because they're always dying to take us out. But the schedule is exhausting in itself, and to really hit these sets home we're going to need some beauty sleep. Even though it's Saturday. Tokyo tomorrow!

Stay tuned...

DAY FIVE – YOKOTA AIR BASE

MATT - Met the most informative Spike for our ride to Yokota Air base at noon. A bit slow going this morning, but some Taco Bell and great views of Tokyo brightened the mood. Yes, you’re asking “Why haven’t you guys eaten real Japanese food!?” Well we did, but it was more like Indian. We intend to so don’t worry! We’re not afraid of it. Except for squid…live squid. Spike enlightened us to the nutritional benefits of fish eyes. It has the consistency of hard gum, he says. I’m looking closely at every piece of gum I put in my mouth from now on. A prank like that would be right up the guys’ alley.

Checked in to our new digs and set up for the show at the Spectrum Lounge. This place had a really cool vibe to it. Very dark and moody. This show was our most packed yet, with a nice female element to it which worked wonders for us and our morale! I’m convinced I need to write more songs for the guys though…you know less about love and more about kickin’ ass. Sigh…I don’t think I have much ass-kickin’ experience. Had a blastin’ set and met tons of cool people. It’s amazing how disconnected some feel from things back in the States. Everyone laughs at me when I tell them the O’s are going all the way this year. Where have they been the last 11 years!?

My gut instinct told me to stay indoors this evening. My brain hadn’t been connecting things too well and I think it was telling me to take it easy. We're constantly on the move and it seems by the time I learn how to pronounce the name of the base and city, we're already on our way to the next stop! Sorry I didn’t meet up with you ladies at Eddy’s. You should be comforted to know that I caught up with the geo-political events that led up to the Nazi invasion of Russia. I’d been meaning to do that for a while. What were they thinking!?

DAY FOUR - ROONY, RODNEY, DONNIE & RONNIE - FUCK YEAH!

MATT - We took a nice ride out of Camp Fuji today and rode to the city of Yokosaka. Today was intensely jam-packed, and we didn't stop until 4am or so. The show at the Spectrum was fantastic and there's talk of us coming back to the area in August! The sailors we spoke to were really cool and had a range of jobs, of which most were not aloud to talk about. It seems as though the coolest jobs are also the most secret.

Enter Ronnie (who I by the end of the night called Donnie)

This guy was especially bad-ass, and works on the flight deck of the USS George Washington. He made a great guide and led us to the Rock Bar FUCK YEAH. The Cheaters were there just last week, and recommended it to us. We tried just about everything, from Absinthe to Cobra Sake. Taka-sahn was a most excellent bartender and kept our whistles wet the entire time. Ronnie led us to a fantastic curry place where we scarfed down some spicy eats. We finished the night at a bar called BOOT CAMP and ran that place dry. We also exhausted their catalog of Beatles karaoke hits. Those special glasses of Tim's are used when one is sleepy and wants to look energetic. I think. Check the explanation below at the end of the 2nd video!

Our new best friend Ronnie had to stop with the hard stuff at midnight, but was awesome enough to hang with us longer! We walked back to billeting (that's the cool word for our digs) and watched some Youtube vids of the USS George. This is the part of the night where exhaustion took over and I exited the scene shortly after. So to Ronnie, who by now I was calling Donnie - THANK YOU! Hope we cross paths again soon man. You have a budding karaoke career to look forward to! And sorry for calling you Donnie.

KENTAGON - The reality of North Korea hit me last night. Not a lot of Navy soldiers came to the show last night because they were doing last minute training before they got deployed this morning to wade in the waters near North Korea. That’s some sobering shit. Our new Navy friend Ronnie showed us around town last night – which crept well into the morning hours! Went to FUCK YEAH! On our way to another bar we ran into some “Massage-ies”. They offer “happy endings” to a massage, but don’t worry mom, we didn’t partake. We ate some food then went to BOOT CAMP (why do they capitalize the name of their bars here?) We sang the shit out of some Karaoke – they love that stuff here! We stumbled back to our pad (which was called BOH BILLETING by the way for all you B’more folk) I tapped out first only to be woken at 5AM or so by Matt…and some sort of curious raining sound. Anyways, show #2 went smooth and we had a blast hanging out around Setown with Ronnie! Thanks buddy! We’re cruising in a kick ass tour bus right now traveling about two hours to the next show. This is Kent saying goodnight, “goodnight”.

P.S. ~ They have canned, hot and cold coffee available via vending machines – I love Japan!

STEVE - Yokosuka. Rock Bar Fuck Yeah! Cobra Sake. Karaoke… always Karaoke!!!!!

TIM - Whelp never again will I drink a Nakita Express. Should be called The F-in’ Awful! I can’t agree more with Steve’s entry. Beatles medley 1 thru 5 is a must. Anyways, keep rockin’, readin’ and I cant think of another R word that’s fitting. Too bad. Semper Fi!

DAY THREE - THIS CLOCK SAYS 3 AM. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TIME IT IS

hey!!!! what's up everybody! Steve here saying hello. sooo... Fools and Horses has officially branded Japanese air with our music. Played our first show tonight for our troops. kind of small turnout but we still put on a good show. Became amateur sound guys and Andrew got a crash course in running a mixer. He did sexily. oh and that reminds me, went to a bar called "sexy" last night. which wasn't very sexy at all. but they had Karaoke, so that's cool. WHOO JAPAN!! I think that's what explains the video I decided to make at 3 am. get your mind out of the gutters. will post soon. well, that's it for me for now, Japan rocks, tour's goin well so far and I'm really excited for the rest of it. I know it's gonna go by quick and that makes me sad, but I'll be happy to be back home. aight, ttyl!


Andrew here. I wish I wasn't.


Kent is this and this is Kent: We played for Camp Fuji tonight. I love the Marine Corps and I almost enlisted just after high school. I went to Annapolis, got all the paper work, filled it out and signed it...but instead of taking it back to the recruiting office I joined Fools & Horses - no joke! The best thrill I get out of this experience is telling our troops how much we appreciate their service and how much our country loves them. And the look in their eyes is 100% priceless! Thank a soldier! On a lighter side...they're very hot and instantly gratifying...lighters, that is, but I'm sure the soldiers are, too. As I was saying, I enjoy lighters when I want a candle lit or one of my cigars lit. Speaking of cigars, I hope to run into some Cubans. But ironically I'm running into a lot of Japanese. I'm going to learn Japanese and own a pad here. I think I'm turning Japanese...and Jello pudding tastes great and gives me strength. I love you - know that, understand it, respect it...Peas.

Andrew still here. I've changed my position. Japan is amazing! Mt Fuji is staggeringly beautiful, and I finally understand why it's the subject of so much Japanese art (Tim and Steve took the rooms with views of it... bastards). The Japanese people are extremely polite and ingratiating. They make me feel like a crass American. And the Marines have been equally ingratiating, and damn good drinking buddies. I had assumed we'd be treated like employees, but we're guests. Everything on base is so cheap ($4.25 for a steak and king crab leg lunch), but everything off... well we collectively dropped over 400 dollars (or worse, 40,000 yen) at Snack Bar Sexy.

Tim: Hey, what's up? I am here, taking in the sweet view of Fuji, sippin' on my sweet cocktail. Hell yeah! Much respect must go out to the kick-ass Marines here in Camp Fuji, for they Rock & Roll and some sing a mean karaoke! Hope to run into the Cheaters sometime on this tour so we can settle an old score...whelp...Last night in Fuji and off to another. Love you all and to all a big Semper Fi!