DAY SIXTEEN – THE TOUR’S SHORTEST POST

”Fog’s rolling in off the East River Bank…” – Simon and Gfunk

Wow, what a fog today. All in our heads mind you, but enough to keep us indoors until soundcheck again.

The show was fantastic tonight, with many of last night’s faces and even the Brit Dave who once lived on the base in the 60’s as a kid. We love meeting these rad people!

We chose to stay close to the base tonight, and after we dropped off the gear into the rooms, we legged it back to the Terror Club to hang out with Tommy and the gang. He gave Matt his Singapore cap, much to Tim’s relief. He’s constantly calling him a poser for his identical, but more awesome-cause-it’s-fitted Orioles cap. Had endless pitchers of Tiger and Dr. Steve Doolittle chased a frog into the pool and named him Freddy. Wouldn’t kiss it, even though we’ve seen him kiss much worse!

DAY FIFTEEN – A NIGHT SAFARI ON OUR OWN

We wanted to get out and do something today, but had slept in and didn’t have enough time to go somewhere substantial. Some of us went to the NEX to pick up some breakfast makings for tomorrow morning. Those that didn’t, didn’t. Tim, Kent and Matt took in a little sun in the backyard, crisping to a nice brown.

Some Fools & Horses met the Monkees today. A family of Rhesus monkeys approached out of the woods to be fed crackers by Andrew and Steve. One bared his teeth at Steve for some strange reason – don’t bite the hand that feeds you bro! Some killer video below of that (if you don’t see it it’s cause we haven’t uploaded it yet. Keep checking)

Matt was taken to the Terror club (grrr…aren’t you terrified!) earlier than expected to get the layout. We arrived at 3 for load in and sound check with Sound Waves Multimedia. A very professional outfit and a good system. You should see this joint. It’s paradise! Our stage overlooks the pool and surrounding greenery. It’s outdoors, so the only drawback would be the temperature/mugginess. We ate at the club, half of us choosing more Western fare, and the other choosing the hot as hell Kung Pao Chicken.

Our set was fun, and the audience included families of the Navy, with some other branches in the ranks. We met three nice kids named Perry, Mitchell and Mark who we planted the seed of their up and coming band. We love the 7 year-old mentality too, partly because our brains haven’t matured much past that level. Perry asked if we could have a sleepover while we were here. I told him we couldn’t, as we were going to be leaving in a couple of days. Picture that! We actually might have had a good time. We haven’t played guns in a while, or gotten our asses beat in a console game we’ve never played before. We could have shown them a rockin’ time. “Alright guys, go get mom to make the Kool-Aid, we’re gonna raid yer dad’s liquor cabinet.” Great kids.

Manager Tommy steered us away from our initial plans to go on the Zoo’s Night Safari, saying flatly, “it kinda sucks.” Say no more! Another guy, who’s name is lost at the moment, told us of a land not too far away called the Orchard Towers. Let’s just say the laides of the night are fairly rampant in these parts, and he promised us a most excellent time provided we didn’t buy them any drinks, kept moving, and kept sharp. So what did we do? Possibly the most exact opposite to that as possible. No, concerned parents, we were good little boys we promise. But it WAS an eye opening experience. Only on floor three at Club Romeo could you find some “ladies” who were not quite sure of their identity. Man, were those billy-boys aggressive! Bob, overall you were right about Singapore. Thanks for the warning!

We were in the district known as the Orchard well throughout the night and into the wee hours of the morning. There was a kick-ass band in one place that we were digging on most of the night, so that held our attention from the naughtier bits.

The cab ride back was about S $25 so between all of us, it was a nicer alternative to taking the train which had yet to open for the morning commute.

No, the Singapore Sling is not a good cocktail the way they make it. Kent and Matt have a much tastier recipe that will just about change your life, not to mention your state of being without even knowing it. GO SLINGS!

DAY FOURTEEN – THE MILE HIGH CLUB THAT ALMOST NEVER WAS

A Big Happy Easter to the Christian World today, and a big, awesome Sunday the 12^th to the rest. We’re currently 824km away from Singapore and 12,192 meters from the ground. (Do the conversions yourself. No calculator up here) We’ve occupied our time from Fukuoka to Singapore with old Super Nintendo games and crappy sit-coms. The stewardess (they are still called that in the Far East) has not cut Kent or Steve off from their Kirin fix, though Tim, Andrew and I are doing our best to keep hydrated.

Our bus got a flat on the way to the airport, making us pretty late. Now if this were in the States, we would not have been able to take the flight, but for some reason in Japan 40 minutes in advance is all we seem to need! More trouble with our MCOs. These people act as if they’ve never seen this before. Mind you the ticket folks are the nicest in the world (a very stark contrast to our first experience at Northwest) but this is getting ridiculous. So we ended up having to pay $4,000 out of pocket for the excess baggage. It’ll be reimbursed at the end of the tour, so it’s not wasted. Just an avoidable hassle. Made the plane just in time for take off, and are now hitting some turbulence. Initially thought it was our innards turning over from yet another plane meal.
This stuff is intense! More from the ground later.

OOOH WEEE! MUGGY baby. Hot and muggy. Met Bama, our driver outside of customs and drove to the off-base housing in lovely Singapore. Up until this point our digs have been very spacious, comfortable, and down right lovely. The ones here are almost a joke. We each have our own 2-bedroom apartment at our disposal equipped with a kitchen, laundry room, living room, as well as 1 & a half baths. The buildings look a bit dated from the outside and give off a haunted vibe, but other than strange noises from the neighbors upstairs (called the front desk: there should be someone up there) all’s lovely.
Kent, Matt, Tim & Andrew took the train downtown to check out the nightlife on an Easter Sunday evening. The river-side area reminds us of an Inner Harbor re-constructed by Disney. It’s unbelievably clean, and equally as expensive. Tried the famous Singapore Sling but gathered it’s not as good as the recipe Kent and Matt learned in bartending school. Upon returning to Sembawang, we were greeted with the men of the night who congregate near the housing area to meet up and exchange their love for one another. That could explain why earlier in the day they may have been making closer eye contact than we have been used to. We thought it was just Matt & Tim’s matching ball caps.

DAY THIRTEEN - THE LAST OF JAPAN

Ah…a sleep-in day. We pulled the blinds and the drapes and slumbered straight into the 10 o’clock hour. Blasphemy in the Rock & Roll world we know, but considering what we’ve had to do these last twelve days, that’s all that we’re going to get.

Left Sasebo Naval Base at around 3pm to hit up the Ginza, the local strip of shops much like we found in Hiroshima, but smaller. Found grape Chu Hi and strolled the streets picking up souvenirs. More Engrish shirts for Matt (think the total is up to 10, and at least 8 of them won’t even fit a small child of four) Ate American today. Steve finding a Pizza shop, and Matt hitting up the McDonalds. It’s just one of the things you do in a foreign country. You hit up the Hard Rock Café, you eat at a local Mickey D’s, and you go to their zoo. Have we missed anything?

A silly old man sat next to us as we people watched. He made little sense, but we could determine that he was pretty pickled on Sake and he liked Americans very much. We think he was a bit put off when we wouldn’t stay with him and finish our drinks with him. Like many bad dates end, we just ran out of things to talk about. Or try found wanting of anything to talk about. It made for some humorous video as Matt attempted to communicate with this Easter pickled Egg.


Tonight’s show was a slightly older and diverse crowd. Some got the Only Fools & Horses reference, and some still hung on to the hope that we were a Country band. (We’ve been getting that a lot. What are we in Australia?) We’re getting quite used to the light-speed pace of the tour, and just can’t seem to find any time to stay out and party with these fine folks. We’re very dependent on our rides from the gig to food and hotel, so much like High School Friday nights at the Ice Rink, when Mom pulls up our asses better be in the car.

Sianora Japan! You’ve been ever so sweet, and simply marvelous. We’re coming back to you soon, so don’t worry. Just make the flight shorter please.

DAY TWELVE - FRUITS OF OUR LABOR

The five-hour bus ride from Iwakuni to Sasebo started the morning. We each took up entire rows with what couldn't be held by the seats suspended above the aisle floor. A couple of rest stops later, we were in Sasebo! The trip should have taken 5 hours +, but our most nimble driver did it in 4:30. Met our POC Ken and did the whole dance of getting passes and lodging squared away.

Tonight's show was a Teen Dance on the other side of the base. In a small room in the Teen Center, F&H sweated up a storm for these youngerns. Andrew couldn't stand the heat and intensity, choosing instead to squander the band's money in the gambling room next door. We're almost out of CDs, but decided to go for broke with them for this crowd. These folks hail from all over the country, so we've planted some little seeds that we hope will yield many Fools & Horses trees in the near future. What do Fools & Horses trees produce? What fruit tastes most like Fools & Horses? Check your Clay Aiken jokes at the door. And to that magazine that compared us to a slightly harder edged Neil Diamond (a big emphasis on the slightly) - we've planted a couple for you on your front lawn. BOO YA

(I'm waiting on pictures from the other guys on this post...seems I've misplaced mine!)

DAY ELEVEN - HIROSHIMA

Jimmy took us out to Hiroshima today. The 45km drive was all on a two lane rural road, dotted by towns along the way. The only thing that still stands from the 1945 A-bombing is the Atomic Bomb Dome (not called that then obviously. ) Because the bomb detonated a few thousand feet directly above it, it wasn't swept away from the pressure of thousands of atmospheres that every other building in the area was. It stands as a testament to the horror of the war and the Japanese resilience to re-build their city.

The Memorial museum was a short, but intense glimpse of what it was like that day. School children's charred and ripped clothing is all that remains of their presence that day. Each exhibit told a story of the child and where they were and when they succumbed to the effects of the bombing. Most impressive was the section of the steps and wall of a bank where an old woman was sitting and waiting for it to open when the bomb was dropped. All that remains there is her shadow. A most sobering look into that period of history.

After that we went shopping. Sounds so crass to say! It was rather surreal to be taking in a museum of one of the darker periods of human history one hour, and then the next be strolling through the city streets shopping for T-shirts. Matt must have picked up 7 all together. He's seriously addicted to their designs and words. Steve is turning Japanese as it seems he's overhauled his wardrobe with all Japanese clothing. He looks a bit like Michael Jackson, and we don't let up on the comparison.

Ate at a curry house and dashed into a SUPER-ENTERTAINMENT-COMPLEX-THINGY. It had 9 floors of pochinka, video games, claw games, bowling, table tennis, darts, pool, batting cages, and karaoke. We damn near tried everything! Our aspirations to join the Orioles next season were dashed again, as we realized we can't hit a ball.
The drive back was not too long, and we played the second night at Club Iwakuni. Full of Marines tonight, and one was celebrating a birthday. Really responsive bunch, and we saw some familiar faces from the night before. Went into town to do some FACE OFF Karaoke, where we'd pick a song for them (as wussy as possible) and they'd pick a song for us (equally as wussy, but we knew them all!) . If you ever get a chance to hear some tough-lookin' Marines sing Puff the Magic Dragon, it'll probably be them. They sounded like sweet, little angels underneath their tough demeanor. The band moved on with POC Jordan to a Reggae joint where they joined in a drum circle well into the early hours of the morning.

Life rocks.

DAY TEN - HEAD OVER EELS in IWAKUNI

Dave took us to the Yamoto museum today, and we took in some history of the town of Kure and of WWII. Our favorite section was the kid's hands-on level, where this one crazy old man ran around showing mostly German tourists how different scientific concepts worked. Kent and I shot off to the moon for a quick picture and were back to Earth before the next leg of the tour.

We were met by Jimmy & Jordan from Iwakuna and took another hour & a half drive to the Marine base. It seems like everything is an hour and a half drive away here. How do they plan these things!? Stopped by a Sushi house outside of base for a quick bite. They'd prepare different stuff and set it on a conveyor belt for you to take, ala buffet. Each plate was a Yen o' five, with some that cost a bit more. Tim & I tried eel for the first time. Not too bad! But don't expect us to eat it regularly.

Checked into lodging and met Armed Forces Radio for a quick interview. Promoted the show, and talked about what Selfish was about (sadly, it's a completely fabricated, but otherwise meaningful song you can connect to...can you?). Had Taco bell again at the Crossroads and prepared for load in to Club Iwakuni.

LSP was there with our equipment and sound again, this time with a larger spread. Played to some cool Marines and the ladies from the Sushi house. This was our longest show yet, but rocked it for 'em something fierce the whole way through. A Marine approached me during the break and said, "Do you know you're huge in Australia?" I stopped.

"REALLY!?"

"Yeah man, that song Sex on Fire is blowing up over there!"

Quite flattering. A young lady in the crowd wanted to know what song # 3 was. I rushed back to the set list and saw we had played Eleanor Rigby third. I told her this, and she said that she may have been the only one who didn't know it was a Beatles song. I told her we forgived her. This tells me bands need to come over here more often! These awesome folks are starving for a bit of Americana. Tim, Kent and I left base with Christine and Kim (the Sushi gals) to take in a bit of the local flavor. Kim is the wife of a Marine on base, and Christine was visiting from Jacksonville, Florida. Took a cab out to Niagara, and had some Jack & Cokes with a Karaoke app. Patsy Cline makes for a great gender bender, and Beatles Medley 2 made for a rousing 2nd go-round. Bar hopped looking for some grape Chu Hi for Kim, only to return to Niagara. They were the only ones in stock. Our evening ended right at 2, cause that's what you do when you're in the Service. A bar policy that essentially says, "You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here." Go Orioles on kicking some Yankee ass. Is 2009 the year? Man I hope so. Are we big in Japan yet!? I don't know, but we're huge in Australia.