DAY TWENTY ONE - WE'RE HERE!

Today's account bleeds over from yesterday's as there was no sleeping. Tim, Andrew and Matt passed the time between the show and getting to the airport by taking in a little Mr. Bean's Summer Holiday. Sounds campy for sure, but it was surprisingly and naturally funny. Especially to three tired, liquored-up baffoons. Kent and Steve took a little sleep in meanwhile.

Charlie and the boys got us right on time at 3:45 and we took a dozy ride out to the airport. We finally got an airline that knew what to do with the MCO's, but it's another hurry up and wait process. We made boarding as soon as it started, and were off before we knew it. The magic of medicine helped us sleep the six hour leg to Honolulu. YES, we got a freebie on this one! We were greeted with a most awesome view of the island with the mountains and volcanoes in the distance.

From there we had to claim our baggage and re-check it in for the leg to Houston. Another six hour nap in-between the gastro-intestinal experiments they call food. Had a three-hour layover in Houston then a two and a half jump to Baltimore.

We were greeted by a big crowd of family and friends at the airport with posters and all. We can't tell you how it made us feel! Well, yes we can it's our blog. It felt wonderful, if not mildly embarrasing. For a group of guys that love their share of attention, we were caught well off guard! But thank you all for that.

We caught up at DuClaw's in Arundel Mills and they did their best to keep us up until nightfall. Matt showed off his extensive collection of "Engrish" shirts, and our range of inside jokes fell on confused ears. We parted ways for a good night's rest only to return to the beat tomorrow night at the Redhouse Tavern.

Sadly, this blog now ends. But we'll keep it up for prosterity anyhow. After all, this is the only written account in existence that will jog our memory of the whirlwind this tour was. To all that we met along the way, it was awesome playing for and hanging out with you. Thanks for all you do, and we hope to return soon!

Be safe. But if you can't be safe...just be real. - Dapper Dan

DAY TWENTY - SCUBA STEVE

Made another early day out of today. We were out the door and in the car at 07:15 and at the mini-mart for some water and food at 07:30. Made it to MDA, the Micronesian Divers Association by 07:45 and got the low down on diving. Got fitted for most excellent gear and took to the waters an hour or so later. Granted, we weren't down there for long, but man! I think we're hooked on this scuba lark. Steve stared down a Moray Eel, and we tossed around a spongy starfish (better than cinder catch anyday). Renee Paradis was our instructor and we vowed to come back and get certified. If anyone is thinking about doing something like this, come to Guam. $159 will get you certified. Anywhere else is anywhere from $500 and above. Think about it babaaaay...

Hit up the most awesome McDonald's on base and crashed for a couple of hours. Frank and Ken, our contacts for today loaded us up and took us to Anderson Air Base, but made a couple of stops along the way for some fantastic sightseeing. Ooh and ahh at this... Another hot, sweaty setup outside of Bamboo Willy's. We may have lost ten pounds each from sweat here in Guam, and added a few more here. A very picturesque view of the water was behind us, and a magnificent crowd to our front awaited us. A lot of younger folks tonight rocked with us and were very vocal and made us feel quite the rock stars. Having run out of CD's, we sadly had to pass out cards to everyone to get an album download for free. We intended to throw out the old merchandise box after this last show, but donated it to someone's bedroom setup. We're quite the recyclers.

The thing that sucks about working up a good sweat, is that at night we get cold. Tear down was a lengthly process, as we had to load gear into the truck, out of the truck and into the lock-up stage, our gear into the truck, then our gear into Kent's room. We ended up back at the rooms at around 1 am, and are getting picked up at 03:45. So...who's for a little bit of not sleeping!? The party was in Matt's room this time. Nobody had figured out his was the biggest, and was like a small condo. sigh...the perks of being on top of the orders.

So this is it! The 2009 AFE Asian tour. It's been a whirlwind of a time for us and we've met some most excellent people. We're honored to have served those who serve us and can't thank them enough for having us out. It's been tough work at times, and at others quite the vacation. We'll wrap it all up tomorrow because if any of the previous travel days are any indication, we're in for one final crusade...getting home!

DAY NINETEEN - SNORKLES

Woke ourselves up very early this morning to venture out to scuba dive. However, we got to the place and couldn't arrange anything, so we snorkled instead. Each of us bought these reusable waterproof cameras and took pictures of the many tropical fish. Arranged and paid for a scuba session for tomorrow at 8am, so couldn't wear ourselves out in the area too much.

Charlie picked us up at 2 for load in outside of Typhoon's. It was as hot as we've ever set up before, but we got the PA working something sweet. Ate at Nap's again and played for the Crawl-fish boil, bringing in the sailors and families from the base. We were very jealous of the moon-bounce off to our left where kids swarmed the entire night. We never got the chance to have a go.

We were dropped off at the rooms for the night, and we ordered a couple of pies in Kent's room and watched the latter half of Blazing Saddles and the Untouchables. It's Friday night, and we're being lame. But if you were scuba-diving at 8am tomorrow, would you stay out late? No, we didn't think so.

DAY EIGHTEEN - 5 GUYS AND A PACIFIC SUNSET

Burned up most of today sleeping. We ALMOST collectively thought to say to hell with it and start the day with the rising sun, but it wasn't to be. Got out of the hotel around 1 to find Tim had rented a car! Learned of the woes of the Cheaters' stay here previously, and thought our own transportation would be a welcome and convenient change from what we've been having. We hauled ass off base to do something cool.

Ate lunch at Ya Mon, a Reggae restaurant and tried everything they suggested; the steamed local catch (yellow-tail tuna) cooked in coconut milk, ribs and a most toxic rum drink (arrgh!). Cruised Rte 1 looking for some water activities and found a nice stretch of beach to lay out on and get some sun. Low tide, but it made for some interesting views of the marine life. Sustained ourselves on Corona and Bud Light and some peanuts well past their sell-by date and watched the sun set at 7. Kent and Steve, always ones for improvised machismo devised a new beach game. We call it cinder catch, or really heavy-ass rock catch. For want of a medicine ball, this just had to do.

Showered and got ready for a night out. However, we stayed in Kent's room and watched the following: South Park, South Park, Reno 911, Daily Show, Colbert Report. It's awesome to be back in US territory! Sad though that we can't spend any YEN or SINGS anymore. Anyone want 'em?

DAY SEVENTEEN – PEEPING TAMMIES

Downpours today. Just when we were thinking about rocking the city we get confronted by a huge storm. The cleaning ladies in the joint have no concept of privacy and will come in the rooms while we’re getting out of the shower, brushing our teeth, etc. They’ll say they’re sorry but will just keep on with what they were doing. I (Matt) brushed my teeth with her beside me restocking the bathroom. Tim, answering the door in the buff thinking it was only us was shocked to find his cleaner coming in to check up on things. Peeping Tammies…

Tried to get a little bit of daytime Singapore into our bellies, so took a taxi down to Raffles Hotel, the famous one where the Singapore Sling was invented. Standing by the previous argument, Kent’s and mine are better. I’m just sayin’. We weren’t allowed inside the hotel because we looked fresh off the boardwalk of Ocean City. Clearly, these people know something about class.

Listened to our driver’s 80’s hair-metal band on his phone on the way to Changi Airport. He was a great driver and a huge music fan. You couldn’t throw something at this guy that he didn’t like. Jammed our way to the drop-off point and said goodbye to yet another awesome chap. More issues with these rotten MCO’s! They still look at these things as if we printed them off on an inkjet or something. Boarding started as soon as we got there, and were left to suffer with their idea of food.

A couple of quick hops got us to Guam. Singapore to Manilla took about 3 ½ hours, and Manilla to Guam another 3 ½. No joke about security in the Phillipines. After we transferred from the first flight, we went through 2 security checkpoints all with scanners. Shoes had to come off as well. Twice. And we’re glad they give you the choice of Chicken or Fish. That meant on the second leg you get to try the other. But the reason we chose the one is because we didn’t like the other…oh choices.

Arrived here in Guam at 3:43 am and were met with all our bags/instruments and some cool ass guys to take us to another Gateway Inn mansion. The sun rises now as we say good morning. Good Morning!

DAY SIXTEEN – THE TOUR’S SHORTEST POST

”Fog’s rolling in off the East River Bank…” – Simon and Gfunk

Wow, what a fog today. All in our heads mind you, but enough to keep us indoors until soundcheck again.

The show was fantastic tonight, with many of last night’s faces and even the Brit Dave who once lived on the base in the 60’s as a kid. We love meeting these rad people!

We chose to stay close to the base tonight, and after we dropped off the gear into the rooms, we legged it back to the Terror Club to hang out with Tommy and the gang. He gave Matt his Singapore cap, much to Tim’s relief. He’s constantly calling him a poser for his identical, but more awesome-cause-it’s-fitted Orioles cap. Had endless pitchers of Tiger and Dr. Steve Doolittle chased a frog into the pool and named him Freddy. Wouldn’t kiss it, even though we’ve seen him kiss much worse!

DAY FIFTEEN – A NIGHT SAFARI ON OUR OWN

We wanted to get out and do something today, but had slept in and didn’t have enough time to go somewhere substantial. Some of us went to the NEX to pick up some breakfast makings for tomorrow morning. Those that didn’t, didn’t. Tim, Kent and Matt took in a little sun in the backyard, crisping to a nice brown.

Some Fools & Horses met the Monkees today. A family of Rhesus monkeys approached out of the woods to be fed crackers by Andrew and Steve. One bared his teeth at Steve for some strange reason – don’t bite the hand that feeds you bro! Some killer video below of that (if you don’t see it it’s cause we haven’t uploaded it yet. Keep checking)

Matt was taken to the Terror club (grrr…aren’t you terrified!) earlier than expected to get the layout. We arrived at 3 for load in and sound check with Sound Waves Multimedia. A very professional outfit and a good system. You should see this joint. It’s paradise! Our stage overlooks the pool and surrounding greenery. It’s outdoors, so the only drawback would be the temperature/mugginess. We ate at the club, half of us choosing more Western fare, and the other choosing the hot as hell Kung Pao Chicken.

Our set was fun, and the audience included families of the Navy, with some other branches in the ranks. We met three nice kids named Perry, Mitchell and Mark who we planted the seed of their up and coming band. We love the 7 year-old mentality too, partly because our brains haven’t matured much past that level. Perry asked if we could have a sleepover while we were here. I told him we couldn’t, as we were going to be leaving in a couple of days. Picture that! We actually might have had a good time. We haven’t played guns in a while, or gotten our asses beat in a console game we’ve never played before. We could have shown them a rockin’ time. “Alright guys, go get mom to make the Kool-Aid, we’re gonna raid yer dad’s liquor cabinet.” Great kids.

Manager Tommy steered us away from our initial plans to go on the Zoo’s Night Safari, saying flatly, “it kinda sucks.” Say no more! Another guy, who’s name is lost at the moment, told us of a land not too far away called the Orchard Towers. Let’s just say the laides of the night are fairly rampant in these parts, and he promised us a most excellent time provided we didn’t buy them any drinks, kept moving, and kept sharp. So what did we do? Possibly the most exact opposite to that as possible. No, concerned parents, we were good little boys we promise. But it WAS an eye opening experience. Only on floor three at Club Romeo could you find some “ladies” who were not quite sure of their identity. Man, were those billy-boys aggressive! Bob, overall you were right about Singapore. Thanks for the warning!

We were in the district known as the Orchard well throughout the night and into the wee hours of the morning. There was a kick-ass band in one place that we were digging on most of the night, so that held our attention from the naughtier bits.

The cab ride back was about S $25 so between all of us, it was a nicer alternative to taking the train which had yet to open for the morning commute.

No, the Singapore Sling is not a good cocktail the way they make it. Kent and Matt have a much tastier recipe that will just about change your life, not to mention your state of being without even knowing it. GO SLINGS!